Rebecca Rhosyn: January 2017

2017

My Fitness Journal: Week 2

Friday, January 13, 2017

Photo taken on Friday 13th January 2017

Week 2 starting weight: 9st 9 1/2 lbs

(increase of 1 1/2 lbs)

I started this week feeling incredibly demoralised and disheartened, as when I weighed myself I had put on one and a half pounds since the week before. I was really confused as to how it happened as I had been cutting back on food and I had been to the gym three times that week. I did some internet research and I think it may have been water retention, and that it is usual to put on weight after you start to exercise more as your body is adjusting. I re-weighed myself on Wednesday and I was down to 9st 7 1/2 lbs, and I felt much better about that.

This week all I have wanted to do is eat. This is probably because of cutting back how much I am eating but also cutting down on how much bad stuff I was eating. So what did I do? I went to McDonalds yesterday....oops. BUT it did satisfy my craving for rubbish food, if that is any excuse.

For workout classes this week I attended LBT again (the class was double the size of last week because of all the resolutioners), and today I did a Kettlebell class followed by Fast Abs. I was a bit unsure about kettlebells as the last class I did in that was far too intense and I had to walk out after 5 minutes. This class today though was with the same instructor as the one who does my LBT class and he just lets me go at my own pace which is what I'm happy with as I feel a lot more comfortable. I didn't feel I got much from the Abs class because it was only 15 minutes long, it needed to be half an hour for me to feel like I had worked out.

I can't see any different in the picture from last week either, if anything I look worse! But it has only been a week...

Next week I need to up my game in the gym. I don't feel as achey as last week but I know I've not worked as hard because I've felt a bit down this week (just in general). I may also have to change my gym schedule because of work and other commitments.

My Favourite Song/Album To Workout To:

Drones - Muse
- I've still been listening to Busted a lot but this was creeping into my workouts this week

School

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

For some reason this week I have been thinking about my life at school, and how negative I always felt back then. To be honest, I had a fair few reasons to be.

I guess I was a typical teenager - I tried to do well at school even though I was only classed as 'average' (I know I was a teacher's pet/goody-two-shoes lets face it), I started secondary school with a good group of friends, some of whom I had known since nursery, yet I could be moody at times!

I remember being top of the class at junior school, yet when i moved up to secondary I dropped down to the 'average' category and I think that really knocked me back. I was used to being one of the best, yet I went into Year 7 not getting that attention anymore. I admit I was a suck-up back then, but all I wanted was to do my best.

It got to Year 9 where a majority of my 'friends' turned against me, and the only reason I got from them was because I was 'boring'. To this day, 13 years or so down the line, I still don't truly know what I did to make them all turn their back on me and force me to be a 'loner'. Surely that wasn't the only reason?

My confidence was hit so much by this - I stopped being chatty and withdrew from everything, I became extremely paranoid about nearly situation and person, there were times I begged my parents to let me change schools because I couldn't cope with the fact that no one liked me. I must have cried nearly every night. Even now, one of my worst fears is not being liked, and I guess it stems from my experiences at school. I was also a target for bullies - I remember being removed out of Maths because a group of girls would throw paper at me and I was told I was a liar (by the class and teacher) when the teacher was giving out sweets to another girl because it was her birthday, yet it was my birthday too.

I don't know why school has been on my mind recently, I don't like to dwell on it because it just reminds me of how sad I was. Going to university was the best thing I could ever have done as it got me out of that mindset. I deleted a lot of my school friends on Facebook a few years back as I didn't want to be connected to that negativity anymore. Some re-added me (I guess they did notice I existed after all) but we don't really talk. We just get on with our lives.